


Mediocre and Pathetic

by Japo_Chan23



Series: Oh lord, crossovers galore [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Cigarettes, Connor is high, Drug Use, Heidi is mentioned, Marijuana, Mark is a drug dealer, and Evan thinks that he is indirectly stealing from Heidi, and Mark is not, i got too lazy to describe things so you get boring and repetitive sorry, so is jared, squipped!evan, this is basically if Evan got a squip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 16:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13368909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Japo_Chan23/pseuds/Japo_Chan23
Summary: “What the fuck kind of drug requires you to drink mountain dew just to work?” Connor grumbled, blunt long gone. “I think you’re getting ripped off Evan.”“I’m not,” Evan whispered. “Okay, okay here goes,” he whispered to himself, grabbing the oblong pill and placing it in his mouth before taking a large swig of the mountain dew. Growing antsy because nothing happened he stood up, starting to pace. That was just too much, he spent so much of his mom’s money, four-hundred dollars that could’ve gone to something more important, went to-to a dumb tic-tac.Nothing happened.Turning towards Mark, he pointed an accusing finger at him. “Did you seriously just-just rip me off? That was four-hundred dollars! I asked for a-a squip not a frea-freaking wintergreen mint!” Evan shouted, his hands clenched at his sides. He was mad- hell, he was pissed.





	Mediocre and Pathetic

**Author's Note:**

> This idea wouldn't leave me alone all day, so here it is. Just to satisfy myself. It's poorly written, and the moment Evan went to Mark's house was the moment I stopped caring.

He couldn’t believe he was doing this. 

Heidi always left twenty-five dollars on the counter, for food of course, and he always told her that he managed to get the food. ‘ _ Fucking liar _ ,’ he thought grimly, counting the bills he had saved up. Of course he wouldn’t order food, he still had anxiety, but for some reason basically stealing from his mom for a fucking pill- just  _ one  _ pill- was better than just buying a pizza.

What kind of logic, right?

Evan had the dealer’s number, to which he labeled the contact “guy who gives me stuff”, even though it was just a one time deal.

Jesus, he has a  _ plug _ , Jared would be so proud of him. Evan wasn’t sure how he even managed to meet the dealer, Mark, but he hoped to god that no one from school knew Mark. Mark told him about how some people he deals to are like friends and always hang out with him even  _ when he’s dealing,  _ so Evan just hoped the druggies from school didn’t know Mark.

So, four hundred dollars. For a pill. 

It didn’t take long for him to scrounge up that much money, only sixteen days in total (thanks to his money leaving twenty-five dollars everyday), but it’s still the fact that he was paying a man four hundred dollars, for some dumb grey oblong pill.

That’s from Japan.

“Waste of my time,” Evan grumbled, stuffing the four hundred dollars into his pocket. He had messaged his dealer, and he was just going to go to Mark’s apartment just to get the dumb pill and ‘activate’ it there. 

Of course Evan was weary. The squip sounded like something out of every loser’s dream, but when Jared had told him about it, Evan went to check it out. Which then led to him finding someone that had squips. 

He decided not to tell Jared.

Sighing, Evan scribbled down a quick note saying that he was out (incase something happened and his mom came home before he did- which was unlikely, but it was just to be safe), and left the house, locking the door behind him.

Not wanting to look too much like a nerd, Evan had slipped a black hoodie on. It wasn’t much, but it was better than going in a polo.

God, he was so mediocre. And pathetic. Resorting to drugs just to be able to talk to people, to be able to stand for himself? To be able to function as a normal human being and make normal decisions for himself? It’s dumb, but it’s a last resort thing. 

“I’m thinking too much about this,” he mumbled, walkin down his driveway. Surprisingly, he lived fairly close to Mark, so driving (even though he didn’t have the car) seemed pointless. It would take around twenty minutes. Or something. 

Enough time to convince himself to back out of this? Sure, but chances were he wasn’t going to. This pill, the squip, it should help. Help him be  _ normal _ , to be able to talk to people without that stupid  _ stutter _ , to be able to just act like a normal human being. 

Before he knew it, he making his way up Mark’s driveway. He ignored the black Honda civic that was parked in the grass that he  _ knew wasn’t Mark, and hoped to god that it was someone who graduated high school _ .

Breathing in, Evan was about to knock on the door, before deciding against it. Mark told him when they first met not to bother with knocking. 

When he stepped it, he kind of slammed the door, causing him to flinch at first, because he noticed the loud laughter, and then the obnoxious coughing fit afterwards from Mark, before the older man yelled “in here!” in the midst of his fit. 

‘Holy shit this is happening,’ Evan thought, lookinking around the entrance of Mark’s home (it was just so  _ filthy _ ) as he made his way to what he deemed as Mark’s living room. His heart was beating so fast, but thank god he took some xanax before he left, because he would’ve been in the middle of an anxiety attack by the door if he hadn’t. 

He really should’ve come at a later date.

“Holy crap, Hansen? What are you doing here?”

“Nothing,” Evan said, sitting down on the other end of the couch that Connor fucking Murphy was sitting on. Across from Mark. Looking down, he pulled at his fingers. This was too much, and he couldn’t handle this. Connor was  _ here _ , and getting high. Of course Connor’s dealer had to be freaking Mark. 

Huffing, the brunette tapped Evan’s shoulder. “Like hell it’s nothing. You want some?” Connor lifted his blunt a little, showing that he was offering weed. Of course he was, it’s not like he would know that Evan was there for some random micro computer.

“N-no thank you,” Evan frowned, looking back at Mark. The other man must’ve taken pity on him or something, because Mark had put out the cigarette that he was smoking, and leaned forward. Business. Right. This was a deal, he was buying something illegal, and this was something that he didn’t just get off of some random dealer.

“Do you have the exact amount?” Mark asked, placing his elbows on his knees, hands hanging limply between his legs. Connor watched silently next to Evan, eyebrow raised curiously. 

Trying to avoid looking at Connor in his peripheral vision, Evan nodded silently, reaching into his back pocket for the four hundred. “Fo-four hundred, exact-exactly,” Evan stuttered quietly, holding the money out for Mark to take.

‘God, it’s so quiet,” Evan thought, leaning back into the couch with a sigh. He rubbed at his eyes, still eyeing Mark as he counted the money. He ignored the whistle that Connor gave, the one that people normally did before making a ‘boom’ sound right after.

“I’ll be right back.” And then Mark was up and gone.

Inhaling sharply, Evan started to bounce his foot. He was getting a squip. Holy shit. This was- this was too much.

“Dude, chill out. It’s just drugs. Is this the first time you got illegal drugs or something?” Connor questioned, kicking Evan’s bouncing foot. 

“Shu-shut up,” Evan said, rubbing his cheek. This wasn’t some normal drug dealing, of course he was going to freak out just a little. “This isn’t- this isn’t normal, people don’t buy this at their le-leisure,” Evan scowled, watching as Mark came back in, a bottle of mountain dew, his other hand clenched at his side. 

“Here it is, blondie,” Mark said, placing the two drinks on the table, and dropping the grey oblong next to them. “You’re lucky I know a guy who sells this shit, otherwise you’d be looking fucking everywhere just to get one.” Mark slid the green mountain dew towards Evan. “Drink this with the squip.”

“What the fuck kind of drug requires you to drink mountain dew just to work?” Connor grumbled, blunt long gone. “I think you’re getting ripped off Evan.” 

“I’m not,” Evan whispered. “Okay, okay here goes,” he whispered to himself, grabbing the oblong pill and placing it in his mouth before taking a large swig of the mountain dew. Growing antsy because nothing  _ happened _ he stood up, starting to pace. That was just too much, he spent so much of his mom’s money, four-hundred dollars that could’ve gone to something more important, went to-to a dumb  _ tic-tac _ .

Nothing happened. 

Turning towards Mark, he pointed an accusing finger at him. “Did you  _ seriously _ just-just rip me off? That was four-hundred dollars! I asked for a-a  _ squip _ not a frea-freaking wintergreen mint!” Evan shouted, his hands clenched at his sides. He was mad- hell, he was  _ pissed _ .

Opening his mouth, planning to say more, shout more profanity at the dealer in front of his peer, Evan stepped forward, stopping suddenly as a scream tore through his throat as he dropped onto the dirty floor covered in stains and ash, back arching against his will.

_ Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort. _

“Mild!?” Evan shouted.

“Mark, what the actual fuck!?” Connor shouted, immediately on his feet. His knees hit the table, causing the brunette to wince as he made his way Evan. “What the hell is happening!? Is he having a seizure!?”

_ Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated. _

“No! I’m-I’m not having a seiz-seizure, I just need a second to-” 

_ Discomfort level may increase _ .

And then there was more screaming, of course there was. 

The screaming continued when Evan bolted up, hands clenched into his blonde hair, forehead on the ground as his body continued to spasm in pain. 

_ Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete. Evan Hansen, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor… Your Squip.  _

Breathing heavily, Evan looked up. He flinched when he saw Connor was at his side and Mark wasn’t there, and that… Keanu Reeves was standing in front of him. 

“This isn’t- can’t be real,” Evan mumbled, shaking his head a little. 

“I can assure you, it is,” the squip said, clasping it’s hands behind its back. “Your goal was to be normal, yes? Or to be seen as normal. Talking out loud in front of no one will be of no help to achieve your goal.”

Evan spread his legs out, glancing at Connor, who was looking more concerned by the minute, before he looked back at the squip. “I- what? Why am I seeing Keanu Reeves in a drug-drug dea-dealers living ro-room? What the fu-fuck did Mark give me?” 

The squip scowled, obviously irritated. “Evan, I am here to help you achieve your goal. I am your squip,” it repeated.

“Evan what the ever living fuck are you talking about? Keanu Reeves isn’t even in the state,” Connor said, frowning as he looked at the spot where Evan was staring. 

“Oh- um,” Evan rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “It’s uh- I uhm- ow!” Evan’s hand went to his throat quickly, hissing as he rubbed at it. He glanced at the squip, eyes narrowed slightly. “What did you d- _ do _ ?” He asked harshly, not bothering to look at Connor. He didn’t need the brunette to call him a freak again, or to see him say it with his eyes. Or whatever nonsense his mind will come up with. 

“A shock. Anytime you stutter, you’ll get a small, painless shock. We’ll discuss this more later,” it said, waving a hand in the air as if physically dismissing the question. Like it was normal. Like it was something everyone went through.

Jesus Christ.

Glancing up at Connor, Evan tried to focus on the fact that Connor was still looking at him with concern, and not like he was a freak.

Connor seemed like he could be a nice person.

This was fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Also I hate this :)))


End file.
